Friday, February 18, 2011

Speed trap signs?

Hit the books and figure these out ahead of time, just in case. Don't want to find yourself in a panic when you see one of these bad boys forcefully inserted into your favourite motorway:

I don't know about you, but they make me anxious. Be the first to tell me what the speeds are and I'll buy you a pint for the favour (I'll probably just be walking or hitchhiking in the meantime). That's a serious offer, too.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Totally forgot about this

I made this a while back and completely forgot about it in the meantime:
I especially like the "did you know..." part

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Free your mind?

It's no surprise when Google overlays ads onto youtube videos; however, this one sort of stood out.
After reading the URL, it was a requirement to check it out.
Here's the page, as an image (not certain if the site will stay up):
And Then There Is This Little Hoarded Secret Nugget Of Ultimate Interesting Information:
I was trying to think up something witty or scathing to put here, but I really couldn't (speechless).
Wait... Nevermind! Here it comes:
I heard of this way you could beat the recession by taking money from people who are also wanting to beat the recession; all you have to do get people to sit in a chair and pretend they're driving a car.

On a side note

In the "free your mind" post, I found out something out about the "English (United Kingdom)" spell checker dictionary in Goggle Chrome [sic]:

Monday, May 24, 2010

Speed limit enforcement

I'm sure you've seen signs that look like this:
I don't know about you, but to me this seems sort of like overkill, as well as having a sort of surreal feel to the threat. Anyway, it instantly made me think of alternate signs that would probably be more effective.

Sniper enforcement was the first thing that came to mind; more menacing if they played the Unreal Tournament announcer saying "HEAD SHOT!" at random intervals (even if no one had been speeding).
(Also: I know it's a counterstrike image, but UT announcer quotes are applicable to all areas of life)

Some people have the opinion that "they would give anyone a badge and a gun these days"; why not show them how right they are by employing a T-Rex?

Ceiling Cat made the universe, so you damn well better be scared of speeding because he's watching you.... Always.

A Bubb Rubb sign probably wouldn't stop people from speeding, but it's for decoration; that's it, that's all.

Perhaps a Darth Vader sign could find new ways to motivate them.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

New Crossing Signs

While waiting to cross a street, somehow the topic changed from people crossing the road to people doing the worm to cross the road; clearly, Photoshop was required.

Monday, October 26, 2009


So what if I really like the "EPIC FAIL" references on the internet. The word "epic" became a favourite the first time that I heard that Beowulf is classified as an "epic poem." Anyway, here's a little homage to "EPIC FAIL"

Not too long ago I went to type "epic fail," but instead I typed "epic frail"; this is how this article and concept was

Note: blogger applied some massive jpeg compression to my images and now they look blocky. I hate you for ruining my life, blogger.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Enter Grandma Lee

I thought Grandma Lee was just a concept that was cooked up to instill thoughts of granny-cooked meals while some young punks baked up all the pastries. It turns out Grandma Lee is real, and apparently very cut. I heard her grandkids were super fat, not because she owns a chain of restaurants but because she puts food in their mouths and punches it down their throats.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

A Slight Amendment to Genesis..

On the zeroth day, God made vanilla.

And it was good.

Saturday, June 06, 2009


There is no possible explanation for this

Monday, March 16, 2009

Update to my earlier facebook post..

So I thought I would check up on the status of the Google trends for facebook. Just to let you guys know, it is quite interesting that facebook still maintains an exponential growth (I thought it would have peaked by now). I am also surprised that myspace still exists, but judging from the emails that are in my junk box, it is only bots.

I hate bots.

Monday, October 27, 2008


So I found out today that there has been a recent horror movie titled "The Midnight Meat Train." Here's a clip of the conversation that ensued:

[16:38:11] <turzxy> "midnight Meat train"
[16:38:27] <damnfuct> LOL
[16:38:29] <damnfuct> oh man
[16:38:34] <turzxy> supposed to be a horror
[16:38:39] <turzxy> no shit!
[16:38:46] <turzxy> you gotta be careful what you name your movie
[16:39:33] <damnfuct> it got a 6.9/10 on IMDB

** note: this is the actual rating on IMDB at the time of posting.. no photoshops this time, folks :)

Thursday, July 10, 2008

It's official...

Today, Dave sent me a link to the google trends site. After playing around with some interesting words, a thought crossed my mind; it seems like facebook is getting pretty popular lately, so I thought I'd do a little search. Knowing how much I hate myspace, I decided to match up these former competitors to see how it's going:

Facebook takes the lead and is unstoppable! Google searches containing "facebook" are increasing a manner that's exponential! It seemed like myspace is too weak to be a challenge, so I really wanted to pit facebook against some heavy hitters. I figured "porn" and "sex" were two that would fare well.

As you can see above, in the 4th quarter of 2007 facebook officially became more popular than porn; though, the real victory was in Q2 2008 when facebook became more popular than sex itself.

Graphs don't lie. ;)

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Brand Loyalty is for Chumps

Comment, 2008-07-10: I have caught a lot of flak for this article because the numbers have changed since posting, but the numbers that I have posted were actually on the site (I took the screenshots myself). If I were to have bought the hardware at the time of posting this article, these are the prices I would have paid. I am not going to revise this article with updated costs because it doesn't change the fact that apple has and what will gouge again; Apple loves price gouging on their hardware, and always has. What I will do, though, is post the most recent quote from their site at the bottom of this page with a link so that all you fanboys can check it out.

Also, as a note (to clarify my intent), the laptop I chose to compare the apple to is the closest analogue to its hardware specs, and not just the cheapest PC that I could find. I would bet that many of the components similar among the two computers are made on the same assembly line.

So here's the original article:

As far as computer upgrades go, RAM is the easiest to upgrade: open plastic door, slide in RAM until it clicks, close plastic door. No drivers, no trouble; likely a 2 minute job on a notebook. If I charged $20 to install RAM, I would feel guilty and have to take a shower followed by confession -- and I never go to confession.

This whole issue made me wonder about the pricing of apple's computers.

I checked out apple's site and the notebooks that they offered. I picked a realistic model for comparison: their vanilla 17" macbook model. I tried to find a comparable computer that was as close to the 17" macbook listed on their site. I was pretty angry and didn't really want to waste too much time looking for an exact match, so I chose one of MSI's models that is available at OTV (see -- I highly recommend them if you live in Saskatoon).

Here's what I found, compiled sloppily and hastily in a table (probably left out a few of the "BFD" features):

Click and compare:

Sure, the macbook has a couple of extra "BFD" features, but seeing how similar the hardware is, it's hard to justify a $1100 price increase -- a 65% increase in cost for mediocre gains. With this much money, one could buy a better computer, another computer, or a TV that could be used along with the computer.

This price difference is the core of what bothers me about apple. Apple is great at hyping-up their products; promising excellence but delivering mediocrity. This is what I have noticed about apple -- there is nothing special that they are offering, yet they still overcharge while keeping a loyal (and very vocal) customer/fan base. As far as usability goes, there's nothing notable that apple does and PC doesn't, yet apple says so and charges more because of it; apple brainwashes everyone into thinking that they are superior, when they are merely equal.

I know exactly where this money goes to: right into their pockets. Don't try to tell me "but apple uses superior components, that's why they charge more," because it's not true. In previous generations apple could afford to make such grandiose claims without grounds for question. This was mostly because they used non-x86 based chips and SCSI drives. Recently, though, they've made the switch to PC hardware. By making the switch to an x86 ("PC") based architecture, they can now take advantage of a mass produced and highly cost-competitive sector of the computer hardware market. Even though they are cutting costs, I am sure they're selling as an "advantage" because now you can run virtualized PCs on your Mac!!1~ OMG!!

The reason why apple has any advantage over Microsoft in the areas of "stability" and "reliability" is that they only ship a limited number of hardware configurations. This means instead of an "infinite" amount of hardware to test and accommodate, they only have a small number of permutations to manage; this translates into less work in coding and testing their OS, less variation in configuring the OS, and specialized optimization of code for quicker performance on their "canned" machines. If Microsoft sold standardized-hardware computers along with their OS, you could be sure it would be a lot more stable; however, I do not endorse this idea because it would effectively kill the "consumer's market" that exists for PCs today.

I don't believe how "superior" apple's computers are just because they say so in a commercial. I'm not interested or swayed by nice cardboard boxes or useful features like a glowing apple. The "warm and fuzzy" feeling doesn't help me sleep at night when I try to justify a 65% markup on a $1700 computer. This being said, apple is good at metaphorically fellating their customers to ensure every overspent dollar goes to inflate their enthusiasm. I am not "anti-apple," but more brand-disloyal; I am not willing to say sh*t doesn't stink by being loyal to a company that gouges their customers. I cannot justify wasting money on a whim where someone claims their product is better with little or no proof. I have my issues with PCs too, but at least they're not price-gouging the pi$$ out of me. Do yourself a favour and save the $1100; buy a new computer in a year instead of apple's warranty returning you somone's refurbished hardware.

Finally, to quell a point before it gets raised: security through "minority" is not a permanent solution -- especially when the growing operator base openly admits to being security-naïve and wholeheartedly believes the almighty mac is impenetrable.

Now, this is the point where I urge you to leave comments to try to "show me the light." Give me your reason why you justify paying the extra $1100 for a mac. Test your mettle and see if you can stump/convert me.

Addition from 2008-07-10:

Note the price; also note how well apple's website "just works" when you have a background that is not defaulted to "eye-bleeding white"

Note in the following image how well a random internet store displays its line items; also note the price for the following item. A further note in the following item should be beheld in the area highlighted with the red box -- you can be sure that someone's kid has been sold to apple to be able to make this claim. Note once more the price and think how many strippers and how much blow is available to a person with exactly $230.01.

P.S. it is quite obviously a lot.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Learn it..

So today I was going to steal an idea and photoshop a "roll up the rim to LOSE" Tim Horton's cup, when I found this picture on the internet:

It turns out that some doof is selling these things. I instantly remembered back to this morning when someone was picking at their cup rim for about 10 minutes trying to find out that he lost. I wondered, "is the method that I use to roll up the rim not common knowledge?" I've seen people pick at these god damn things for ever.

So, here it is if you don't know how to do it (click on it for the large version):

Learn it, live it, love it.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Computer humor

If you're any sort of self-respecting nerd, you will enjoy this site of "hacked" classic art. It was featured on slashdot, so don't get all pissy and say I didn't tell you.

Saturday, January 19, 2008


Back when the first resident evil came out, I went to see it at the Rainbow. It was around the same time that Oil of Olay was marketing their "Regenerist" line of whatever cream. The Resident Evil creators did a little spoof of that product and threw before the movie (when they usually play commercials). They called the product "Regenerate" by the Umbrella Corporation. I thought it was a commercial until they started talking about it "bringing dead cells to life" with "t-cells." I thought it was pretty funny, but I never saw it again. I figured Oil of Olay threatened to sue their pants off for associating "Regenerist" with zombies. After all, Oil of Olay doesn't want anyone to think that Regenerist will turn people into lickers!

"olol im soo hapy reggenerest maeking my sk1n is babysoft!~one"

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you haven't seen the "commercial." Here it is:

So finally the point of this post; Today I saw an ad on TV for a new product from Oil of Olay: "Olay Definity Eye Illuminator." Here's the product I saw:

I instantly noticed some similarities when I saw the bottle:

On one side, maybe they have a sense of humor.
On the other side, maybe we'll be seeing some lickers right away.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Looks like a hotdog? Says who?

I was at 7-11 the other day for the purpose of buying beef jerky. To pass the time, I observed the greasy cylindrical "meat" things dancing on the hot rollers while waiting for my turn to get my portion of bad service. I idly skimmed over the the little cards to see what their inventory of meat-inspired products was (clearly you cannot identify such food without being told specifically and explicitly what it is). One of the products made the claim that it "[looked] like a hot dog, [tasted] like a cheeseburger." I was a little put off when my focus found its way to the objects on the roller; it might taste like cheeseburger, but it sure doesn't look like a hot dog.

Fast and loose with the defintion of "hot dog;" glad it doesn't ship with little bits of corn in it.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Ain't that america

On the trip to the USA I found an interesting can of Rockstar among the usual sized ones, so I bought it.

From left to right: regular can, Canadian/regular Rockstar, USA Jumbo can.

As you can see, there's also a nice little slogan on the bottom of the big can: "party like a rockstar." When I saw this can, I was instantly reminded of the Canadian can:

Canada: Do not consume more than 500 ml per day

My guess is that the Canadian version of the FDA doesn't approve of this larger size. Then again, it's likely that the extra 210 ml really does allow you "party like a rockstar" -- laying on your back in a pool of your own vomit!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Spam hate

Sunday, August 26, 2007


This box was sitting boringly in the washroom on a shelf, so I fancied it up

and of course, you have to put it back in an inconspicuous manner and don't tell anyone.

Something you have to expect when you hvae me as a roommate, I guess :P

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Chimp off the old block

I heard about this guy, but I never thought to check it out..

Until now

Friday, August 10, 2007

Well this is fun

An avatar on a forum I visit often:

Monday, August 06, 2007


Sunday, June 17, 2007

You haven't lived

We're doing bathroom renovations and we needed a place to put a temporary toilet. The pipe is approx 4 inches off the ground, so we needed a stand, which we promptly made. It turns out this temporary toilet is a lot more fulfilling than one might expect.

Enough said.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

In saskatoon?

Check out the BMO by the Scotia Centre, Southbound on 2nd Ave

Just a regular day, right. Wait! What is that locked so nicely to that post?

It's a bike with no wheels! Apparently it's been there for two weeks, but it used to have wheels on it; wheels that were all bent up to shit. Apparently someone stole a couple of bent up wheels.