Junk

Speed trap signs?

2011-02-18T17:55:00.005-06:00

Hit the books and figure these out ahead of time, just in case. Don't want to find yourself in a panic when you see one of these bad boys forcefully inserted into your favourite motorway:

I don't know about you, but they make me anxious. Be the first to tell me what the speeds are and I'll buy you a pint for the favour (I'll probably just be walking or hitchhiking in the meantime). That's a serious offer, too.

Totally forgot about this

2010-06-17T11:32:00.006-06:00

I made this a while back and completely forgot about it in the meantime:

I especially like the "did you know..." part

Free your mind?

2010-06-08T19:27:00.008-06:00

It's no surprise when Google overlays ads onto youtube videos; however, this one sort of stood out.

After reading the URL, it was a requirement to check it out.

Here's the page, as an image (not certain if the site will stay up):

And Then There Is This Little Hoarded Secret Nugget Of Ultimate Interesting Information:

I was trying to think up something witty or scathing to put here, but I really couldn't (speechless).
Wait... Nevermind! Here it comes:

I heard of this way you could beat the recession by taking money from people who are also wanting to beat the recession; all you have to do get people to sit in a chair and pretend they're driving a car.

On a side note

2010-06-08T19:10:00.000-06:00

In the "free your mind" post, I found out something out about the "English (United Kingdom)" spell checker dictionary in Goggle Chrome [sic]:

Speed limit enforcement

2010-05-24T00:05:00.008-06:00

I'm sure you've seen signs that look like this:

I don't know about you, but to me this seems sort of like overkill, as well as having a sort of surreal feel to the threat. Anyway, it instantly made me think of alternate signs that would probably be more effective.

Sniper enforcement was the first thing that came to mind; more menacing if they played the Unreal Tournament announcer saying "HEAD SHOT!" at random intervals (even if no one had been speeding).

(Also: I know it's a counterstrike image, but UT announcer quotes are applicable to all areas of life)

Some people have the opinion that "they would give anyone a badge and a gun these days"; why not show them how right they are by employing a T-Rex?

Ceiling Cat made the universe, so you damn well better be scared of speeding because he's watching you.... Always.

A Bubb Rubb sign probably wouldn't stop people from speeding, but it's for decoration; that's it, that's all.

Perhaps a Darth Vader sign could find new ways to motivate them.

New Crossing Signs

2010-03-23T23:40:00.005-06:00

While waiting to cross a street, somehow the topic changed from people crossing the road to people doing the worm to cross the road; clearly, Photoshop was required.

EPIC HAIL

2009-10-26T16:54:00.009-06:00

So what if I really like the "EPIC FAIL" references on the internet. The word "epic" became a favourite the first time that I heard that Beowulf is classified as an "epic poem." Anyway, here's a little homage to "EPIC FAIL"

Not too long ago I went to type "epic fail," but instead I typed "epic frail"; this is how this article and concept was

Note: blogger applied some massive jpeg compression to my images and now they look blocky. I hate you for ruining my life, blogger.

Enter Grandma Lee

2009-07-07T20:49:00.003-06:00

I thought Grandma Lee was just a concept that was cooked up to instill thoughts of granny-cooked meals while some young punks baked up all the pastries. It turns out Grandma Lee is real, and apparently very cut. I heard her grandkids were super fat, not because she owns a chain of restaurants but because she puts food in their mouths and punches it down their throats.

A Slight Amendment to Genesis..

2009-06-17T19:24:00.002-06:00

On the zeroth day, God made vanilla.

And it was good.

Oh?

2009-06-06T01:01:00.000-06:00

There is no possible explanation for this

Update to my earlier facebook post..

2009-03-16T18:00:00.008-06:00

So I thought I would check up on the status of the Google trends for facebook. Just to let you guys know, it is quite interesting that facebook still maintains an exponential growth (I thought it would have peaked by now). I am also surprised that myspace still exists, but judging from the emails that are in my junk box, it is only bots.

I hate bots.

Figures

2008-10-27T16:41:00.010-06:00

So I found out today that there has been a recent horror movie titled "The Midnight Meat Train." Here's a clip of the conversation that ensued:

[16:38:11] <turzxy> "midnight Meat train"
[16:38:27] <damnfuct> LOL
[16:38:29] <damnfuct> oh man
[16:38:34] <turzxy> supposed to be a horror
[16:38:39] <turzxy> no shit!
[16:38:46] <turzxy> you gotta be careful what you name your movie
[16:39:33] <damnfuct> it got a 6.9/10 on IMDB

** note: this is the actual rating on IMDB at the time of posting.. no photoshops this time, folks :)

It's official...

2008-07-10T21:50:00.007-06:00

Today, Dave sent me a link to the google trends site. After playing around with some interesting words, a thought crossed my mind; it seems like facebook is getting pretty popular lately, so I thought I'd do a little search. Knowing how much I hate myspace, I decided to match up these former competitors to see how it's going:

Facebook takes the lead and is unstoppable! Google searches containing "facebook" are increasing a manner that's exponential! It seemed like myspace is too weak to be a challenge, so I really wanted to pit facebook against some heavy hitters. I figured "porn" and "sex" were two that would fare well.

As you can see above, in the 4th quarter of 2007 facebook officially became more popular than porn; though, the real victory was in Q2 2008 when facebook became more popular than sex itself.

Graphs don't lie. ;)

Brand Loyalty is for Chumps

2008-04-20T17:37:00.017-06:00

Comment, 2008-07-10: I have caught a lot of flak for this article because the numbers have changed since posting, but the numbers that I have posted were actually on the site (I took the screenshots myself). If I were to have bought the hardware at the time of posting this article, these are the prices I would have paid. I am not going to revise this article with updated costs because it doesn't change the fact that apple has and what will gouge again; Apple loves price gouging on their hardware, and always has. What I will do, though, is post the most recent quote from their site at the bottom of this page with a link so that all you fanboys can check it out.

Also, as a note (to clarify my intent), the laptop I chose to compare the apple to is the closest analogue to its hardware specs, and not just the cheapest PC that I could find. I would bet that many of the components similar among the two computers are made on the same assembly line.

So here's the original article:

As far as computer upgrades go, RAM is the easiest to upgrade: open plastic door, slide in RAM until it clicks, close plastic door. No drivers, no trouble; likely a 2 minute job on a notebook. If I charged $20 to install RAM, I would feel guilty and have to take a shower followed by confession -- and I never go to confession.

This whole issue made me wonder about the pricing of apple's computers.

I checked out apple's site and the notebooks that they offered. I picked a realistic model for comparison: their vanilla 17" macbook model. I tried to find a comparable computer that was as close to the 17" macbook listed on their site. I was pretty angry and didn't really want to waste too much time looking for an exact match, so I chose one of MSI's models that is available at OTV (see http://www.otvtech.com/ -- I highly recommend them if you live in Saskatoon).

Here's what I found, compiled sloppily and hastily in a table (probably left out a few of the "BFD" features):

Click and compare:

Sure, the macbook has a couple of extra "BFD" features, but seeing how similar the hardware is, it's hard to justify a $1100 price increase -- a 65% increase in cost for mediocre gains. With this much money, one could buy a better computer, another computer, or a TV that could be used along with the computer.

This price difference is the core of what bothers me about apple. Apple is great at hyping-up their products; promising excellence but delivering mediocrity. This is what I have noticed about apple -- there is nothing special that they are offering, yet they still overcharge while keeping a loyal (and very vocal) customer/fan base. As far as usability goes, there's nothing notable that apple does and PC doesn't, yet apple says so and charges more because of it; apple brainwashes everyone into thinking that they are superior, when they are merely equal.

I know exactly where this money goes to: right into their pockets. Don't try to tell me "but apple uses superior components, that's why they charge more," because it's not true. In previous generations apple could afford to make such grandiose claims without grounds for question. This was mostly because they used non-x86 based chips and SCSI drives. Recently, though, they've made the switch to PC hardware. By making the switch to an x86 ("PC") based architecture, they can now take advantage of a mass produced and highly cost-competitive sector of the computer hardware market. Even though they are cutting costs, I am sure they're selling as an "advantage" because now you can run virtualized PCs on your Mac!!1~ OMG!!

The reason why apple has any advantage over Microsoft in the areas of "stability" and "reliability" is that they only ship a limited number of hardware configurations. This means instead of an "infinite" amount of hardware to test and accommodate, they only have a small number of permutations to manage; this translates into less work in coding and testing their OS, less variation in configuring the OS, and specialized optimization of code for quicker performance on their "canned" machines. If Microsoft sold standardized-hardware computers along with their OS, you could be sure it would be a lot more stable; however, I do not endorse this idea because it would effectively kill the "consumer's market" that exists for PCs today.

I don't believe how "superior" apple's computers are just because they say so in a commercial. I'm not interested or swayed by nice cardboard boxes or useful features like a glowing apple. The "warm and fuzzy" feeling doesn't help me sleep at night when I try to justify a 65% markup on a $1700 computer. This being said, apple is good at metaphorically fellating their customers to ensure every overspent dollar goes to inflate their enthusiasm. I am not "anti-apple," but more brand-disloyal; I am not willing to say sh*t doesn't stink by being loyal to a company that gouges their customers. I cannot justify wasting money on a whim where someone claims their product is better with little or no proof. I have my issues with PCs too, but at least they're not price-gouging the pi$$ out of me. Do yourself a favour and save the $1100; buy a new computer in a year instead of apple's warranty returning you somone's refurbished hardware.

Finally, to quell a point before it gets raised: security through "minority" is not a permanent solution -- especially when the growing operator base openly admits to being security-naïve and wholeheartedly believes the almighty mac is impenetrable.

Now, this is the point where I urge you to leave comments to try to "show me the light." Give me your reason why you justify paying the extra $1100 for a mac. Test your mettle and see if you can stump/convert me.

Addition from 2008-07-10:

Note the price; also note how well apple's website "just works" when you have a background that is not defaulted to "eye-bleeding white"

Note in the following image how well a random internet store displays its line items; also note the price for the following item. A further note in the following item should be beheld in the area highlighted with the red box -- you can be sure that someone's kid has been sold to apple to be able to make this claim. Note once more the price and think how many strippers and how much blow is available to a person with exactly $230.01.

P.S. it is quite obviously a lot.

Learn it..

2008-03-07T19:20:00.010-06:00

So today I was going to steal an idea and photoshop a "roll up the rim to LOSE" Tim Horton's cup, when I found this picture on the internet:

It turns out that some doof is selling these things. I instantly remembered back to this morning when someone was picking at their cup rim for about 10 minutes trying to find out that he lost. I wondered, "is the method that I use to roll up the rim not common knowledge?" I've seen people pick at these god damn things for ever.

So, here it is if you don't know how to do it (click on it for the large version):

Learn it, live it, love it.

Computer humor

2008-01-23T20:11:00.001-06:00

If you're any sort of self-respecting nerd, you will enjoy this site of "hacked" classic art. It was featured on slashdot, so don't get all pissy and say I didn't tell you.

Regenerist?

2008-01-19T20:49:00.000-06:00

Back when the first resident evil came out, I went to see it at the Rainbow. It was around the same time that Oil of Olay was marketing their "Regenerist" line of whatever cream. The Resident Evil creators did a little spoof of that product and threw before the movie (when they usually play commercials). They called the product "Regenerate" by the Umbrella Corporation. I thought it was a commercial until they started talking about it "bringing dead cells to life" with "t-cells." I thought it was pretty funny, but I never saw it again. I figured Oil of Olay threatened to sue their pants off for associating "Regenerist" with zombies. After all, Oil of Olay doesn't want anyone to think that Regenerist will turn people into lickers!

"olol im soo hapy reggenerest maeking my sk1n is babysoft!~one"

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you haven't seen the "commercial." Here it is:

So finally the point of this post; Today I saw an ad on TV for a new product from Oil of Olay: "Olay Definity Eye Illuminator." Here's the product I saw:

I instantly noticed some similarities when I saw the bottle:

On one side, maybe they have a sense of humor.
On the other side, maybe we'll be seeing some lickers right away.

Looks like a hotdog? Says who?

2008-01-01T20:07:00.001-06:00

I was at 7-11 the other day for the purpose of buying beef jerky. To pass the time, I observed the greasy cylindrical "meat" things dancing on the hot rollers while waiting for my turn to get my portion of bad service. I idly skimmed over the the little cards to see what their inventory of meat-inspired products was (clearly you cannot identify such food without being told specifically and explicitly what it is). One of the products made the claim that it "[looked] like a hot dog, [tasted] like a cheeseburger." I was a little put off when my focus found its way to the objects on the roller; it might taste like cheeseburger, but it sure doesn't look like a hot dog.

Fast and loose with the defintion of "hot dog;" glad it doesn't ship with little bits of corn in it.

Ain't that america

2007-08-30T16:22:00.000-06:00

On the trip to the USA I found an interesting can of Rockstar among the usual sized ones, so I bought it.

From left to right: regular can, Canadian/regular Rockstar, USA Jumbo can.

As you can see, there's also a nice little slogan on the bottom of the big can: "party like a rockstar." When I saw this can, I was instantly reminded of the Canadian can:

Canada: Do not consume more than 500 ml per day
USA: OMG PARTY LIKE A ROCKSTAR!!!~~``11one

My guess is that the Canadian version of the FDA doesn't approve of this larger size. Then again, it's likely that the extra 210 ml really does allow you "party like a rockstar" -- laying on your back in a pool of your own vomit!

Spam hate

2007-08-29T20:58:00.000-06:00

POUR SATAN SEULEMENT

2007-08-26T14:16:00.001-06:00

This box was sitting boringly in the washroom on a shelf, so I fancied it up

and of course, you have to put it back in an inconspicuous manner and don't tell anyone.

Something you have to expect when you hvae me as a roommate, I guess :P

Chimp off the old block

2007-08-22T19:18:00.001-06:00

I heard about this guy, but I never thought to check it out..

Until now

Well this is fun

2007-08-10T23:32:00.000-06:00

An avatar on a forum I visit often:

?

2007-08-06T17:06:00.000-06:00

You haven't lived

2007-06-17T02:43:00.000-06:00

We're doing bathroom renovations and we needed a place to put a temporary toilet. The pipe is approx 4 inches off the ground, so we needed a stand, which we promptly made. It turns out this temporary toilet is a lot more fulfilling than one might expect.

Enough said.

In saskatoon?

2007-04-12T22:11:00.000-06:00

Check out the BMO by the Scotia Centre, Southbound on 2nd Ave

Just a regular day, right. Wait! What is that locked so nicely to that post?

It's a bike with no wheels! Apparently it's been there for two weeks, but it used to have wheels on it; wheels that were all bent up to shit. Apparently someone stole a couple of bent up wheels.

Greasy.

I like my camera phone

2007-04-10T22:19:00.000-06:00

This is where I enjoy having a camera phone.
I was walking to my car in the parkade when I found this plate. Either this person is one unlucky bastard, or they are a huge prick.

9/11 fan you say? I guess that explains the dried pop on the roof.

Then again, it IS a kia ;)

My favorite pasttime

2007-04-10T22:01:00.000-06:00

Even if there is not photoshop to be found, I can still make do with a pen.

Oh how nice, Valentine's day.

That's more like it ;)

Rent?

2007-03-18T20:51:00.000-06:00

Please.

Becomes:

An old one..

2007-03-17T16:49:00.000-06:00

but a new one to most of you. I found the following pictures when i was organizing my pictures folder.

Someone decided to make a turbo sticker for their car:

I figured I would try to make my own:

ytmnd

2007-03-16T17:04:00.000-06:00

http://youmakemetouchyourhandsforstupidreasons.ytmnd.com/

SRSLY

2007-03-10T20:50:00.000-06:00

YA RLY!

What's up? That's what's up.

2007-03-04T20:57:00.000-06:00

Jacquie and I were at a local chinese convenience store when we noticed a strange bar. Of course, the first instinct when you see an odd product is to buy it. This is what it looks like:

This bar is funny at first, but then turns out to be a strange one indeed. Jacquie pointed out an oddity in the ingredients list;

No way! Peanuts in this bar?! Get out of here! It's good they put the disclamer because someone might have eaten the bar not knowing there are any peanuts in it and die from an allergic reaction. I mean, it's not like they pointed it out anywhere else on the bar.

I always wondered

2007-02-23T16:04:00.000-06:00

I always wondered if people actually give any thought to the comments people post to them.

She actually had to read and approve the comment before it came up. It took a day or two.

If she didn't know what I meant, Wikipedia would have revealed all. Then again the strategically placed heart was no accident ;)

My kind of guys

2007-02-23T15:46:00.000-06:00

I know this is a bit old, but i found it in my pictures folder

Here we go

2007-02-12T22:20:00.000-06:00

I've finally hit youtube:

enjoy

joey chestnut

2007-02-02T20:09:00.000-06:00

Matt Keyes says:
top story: I'm a disgusting mess

Jan 10, 2007

2007-01-22T23:20:00.000-06:00

I figured it was a good idea to stay home ;)

Don't you hate..

2006-10-30T04:52:00.000-06:00

..when companies ask for personal information?
I do, but this time I thought I should really give my personal information to them:

*pities foo's*

Oh yeah, if you didn't notice, the phone number "366-7489" does, in fact, spell FOO-PITY. Just thought you should know.

Strange..

2006-09-29T09:30:00.000-06:00

Very strange

Way better than pimpsauce@hotmail.com

2006-09-28T16:42:00.000-06:00

So, I was in the library today looking on the computer and I noticed that someone had signed into msn on there. Being the person I am, of course I opened it up and noticed it was some sort of asian name. Regardless, I added myself before I closed it down. ;)

Note: the first name on the list: "ju jin"

The question

2006-08-16T21:53:00.000-06:00

The answer is two days.

The question?
How many days does it take until the flyer kid gets the fact that we don't want his god damn fliers and then he can just put them right up his ass?

32°C

2006-06-28T19:56:00.000-06:00

Dan figured a picture was in order:

Dear Daniel...

2006-06-08T21:35:00.000-06:00

I know, I know. "I haven't updated my blog in too long," is probably what you're thinking. You are right. Well, not much new here except my new fancy job. Fancy is italicized purely for the fact that the internet is a quite effective sarcasm filter. That aside.

Anyway, I'm working with a temp agency and at the moment I'm at a certain set of apartments. I get to a room that looks like someone robbed the place and took anything of remote value, leaving behind garbage strewn across the room. Among a ton of condom wrappers, broken glass, old food, and burnt up butter knives I found a gem. Not a gem in a conventional sense, but a gem in a metaphoric sense. It's a love note to Daniel from Natasha. Rule #1 in moving out of a place: don't leave behind juicy tidbits like this.

[note from Dwayne: if the writing seems small, put your mouse over the image until that box pops up in the bottom corner of the picture and enlarge it]
Ooo! Steamy:

I bet you're thinking "Augh! What wrong with chick? She not know english?" Judging by the name and the broken english that reminds me of Babas, Gidos, and Koustov, I assume she's some kind of Russian broad. That aside, I figured she needed some rough help with her basic message:

I probably didn't fix everything, nor did I try to fix the massive "train of thought" errors in her paragraph structures as well as the repetitions of key points. Anyway, I was going to give her an F, but instead I gave her a D for DUMPED! Kick that shit to the curb, Daniel.

Take my fucking quiz!

2006-05-04T01:49:00.000-06:00

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/linkquiz02.php?quizname=060504034549-507487&

Tasty

2006-03-12T22:01:00.000-06:00

This is an old picture that I had from a long time ago.
Anyway, as the story went, Matt and I picked up some various gross meats from superstore for the purpose of attempting to eat. The Spam was good as a spam burger; however, the vienna rolls left much to be desired. There was no texture to them and they felt like I was chewing air. Anyway, I spit that shit out after almost gagging.

Check out the ingredients!

Yum

2006-01-22T20:30:00.000-06:00

Dear Reegan,

Kraft dinner heard your story and has released a new flavor of kraft dinner.

Thanks,

Dwayne.

P.S.:

What would we do without instructions?

2005-12-03T17:21:00.000-06:00

Pretty funny..

2005-11-29T20:45:00.000-06:00

I never made this, but this blog is pretty witty.

http://spadassin.blogspot.com/2005/11/webmasters-who-didnt-think-when-they.html

señor?

2005-11-21T01:22:00.000-06:00

So anyway, craig saw this infomercial for this dumb thing called the Sauna Belt. He found a picture and sent me it.

Of course, in my hands it became:

Mmm. Tacos.

It's official..

2005-10-22T14:43:00.000-06:00

Now what scientists and mathematicians had teams sort of like how sports is run..

It's official. There is no doubt now that I am a nerd.

Heh!!

2005-10-22T00:31:00.000-06:00

Had a cool idea, thought i'd add a random person to my msn.. so i made up some sort of weird address and added them:

What band am I?

2005-09-24T04:58:00.000-06:00

I took the quiz that Craig posted on his page:

0 other people got this result!
This quiz has been taken 31337 times.
0.0% of people had this result.

You are In Flames

This band is way better than the Yeah Yeah Yeah's or the killers.

What Band Are you?

As if

2005-09-24T04:38:00.001-06:00

I know you have all seen this bullshit put on the pumps when you're pumping all of what you made all year into a mere half a tank of gas. I noticed something that I've taken the liberty to highlight:

Marketing costs?
Marketing Costs?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
MARKETING COSTS?

I had this rant with Chad Emm about this. It's not like any gas is better than any one else's gas, and even if it were, how the fuck would I know the difference? My car's not a ferrari. My car burns grade F- gas.
Besides that, what the fuck is there to market about gas? It's not like a typical beer commercial, saying something to the extent "Buy our gas, it'll give you better sex appeal" or "Ladies will flock to you if you buy our gas."

But then again, that might be pretty funny:

Breakfast Surreal

2005-09-24T03:43:00.000-06:00

This story is sort of old already (the box of mini-wheats is already done!), but when I posted it last time it just didn't work!

So, without much further ado..

I bought some cereal when I moved to Saskatoon, the good stuff: shreddies and mini wheats. Now, I'm 23 and I am pretty keen on all these tricks these cereal companies do. "Collect 6.02x10^23 UPC's and we'll send you a FREE wristwatch!!!! FREE!!!" Yeah, whatever. Who's gonna take the time to collect them to claim a shitty prize? Not me.
I've had too many childhood dreams crushed by a cereal CEO. "Mom, we should get this cereal, it's got a cool prize!!!" Of course mom would try to tell me, but you can't reason with a 4 year old.

Anyway, when I saw the box, this is what I saw:

whoop de fucking do, a camera. I'm not collecting any UPC's.

So I went about a week before I actually looked at the box more carefully and I noticed:

Free inside? Fuck that; You've got to be kidding?
Right?

No, serious.
You're kidding?

Imagine the look in my eyes when I pulled the half-full bag out of the flimsy cardboard box to notice a shitty camera at the very bottom of the box.

What's next?
This?:

??

Lunch time reviews

2005-08-09T13:10:00.000-06:00

As the summer comes to an end, so should my food supply. Last weekend I knew I needed groceries, but I really just didn't want to go. I decided to use some of this skill I have called "creativity" (and i suppose another skill that I have that allows me to eat anything, no matter how gross it is).
Anyways, this has inspired me to write about some of the more memorable lunches and suppers that I have had in the past two weeks.

It's Monday night and I should have got groceries, but we went to bp's instead.
Ordered an Extra buffalo chicken sandwich to go, and so it begins:

1/2 Buffalo Chicken Sandwich.
Hours old: about 14
Description: half of a buffalo chicken sandwich * half the fries = 1/4 the satisfaction.
Appearance: Perfect bun. Tomato was really gross.. looked like a sundried tomato; took those off. Lettuce was almost brown, looked like wet newspaper; I ate it anyways.
Impression: I felt like spicy food, and it hit the spot. Cooked it in a toaster oven so the fries and sandwich were pretty good, except that I burned the top of the bun.
Overall: 4/5

1/2 Buffalo Chicken Sandwich, part 2
Hours old: about 38
Description: half of a buffalo chicken sandwich * half the fries * 3x the age! = 1/24 the satisfaction.
Appearance: Kinda like the one the day before, more soggy though. The tomato was very disgusting, and i hammered those off quick. The lettuce was pretty gross yesterday, so i took it off today.
Impression: Not as good as yesterday. The fries were soggy, but the bun wasn't burnt. Gave me heart burn.
Overall: 4/5

2 single serving cans of beans, with crunched up crackers on top
Hours old: found the cans in my desk from eons ago.
Description: Regular, single-serving beans in tomato sauce. 225 ml * 2 cans = a whole fucking lot of beans. 2 cans, dumped into a tupperware conatiner, warmed up in a microwave with crunched up crackers on top.
Appearance: Looks like beans with crackers on top, in other words "very ghetto"
Impression: Pretty good actually, but in hindsight, I don't think I'd eat or recommend eating this many beans in one sitting. :S
Overall: 3/5

Chicken Nuggets
Hours old: about 14
Description: Six golden, white-meat, Superstore chicken nuggets reheated in a toaster oven, served with no-name mustard.
Appearance: Looks pretty good. Just like mom used to make!
Impression: Not bad, not bad. Mustard is a shitty dipping sauce.
Overall: 4/5

Hot wings
Hours old: about 14
Description: louisiana style hot wings from superstore
Appearance: Red wings (not detroit). mmm
Impression: tasty! Not too hot, but good. Tastes like fridge. Could be less greasy.
Overall: 3.5/5

Fried Rice Concoction
Hours old: about 14
Appearance: looks like shit.
Description: Basmati rice, Teriyaki chicken breasts, fried egg, corn (thanks Craig!!) and a bit of soya sauce (thanks Lindsay!!)
Impression: Tastier than it looks. Good, it better be; I gotta eat this shit tomorrow too!
Overall: 4/5

Beer and Apples
Hours old: Two beer dating back from when I moved to mcmoney, but the apples were pretty fresh.
Description: A Rickard's Red, a Rickard's Honey Brown, and two Red Delicious in a small bowl.
Appearance: Ah! Sweet nectar! And also my favorite: apples. Could there be anything better? definitely.
Impression: Rickard makes a good beer, it still tasted fresh considering how long it was sitting around the place! The apples were crisp and juicy. Surprisingly surprising!
Overall: 4.5/5

Fried Rice Concoction, Part 2
Hours old: about 38
Appearance: looks even more like shit.
Description: still Basmati rice, Teriyaki chicken breasts, fried egg, corn (thanks again, Craig!!) and a bit of soya sauce (thanks again, Lindsay!!)
Impression: Actually still good! The basmati rice has an enhanced flavor for some reason. Strange, no?
Overall: 4.3/5

Now, as the week comes to an end and all the food is eaten, and we're already in O.T.! Five seconds left on the clock; what kind of tricks am I going to pull out of my bag?

Tune in later and find out!!!

DW

P.S. Diet Dr. Pepper count this week: 10x 600 ml's

Noodles

2005-08-03T23:10:00.000-06:00

Now, I know this isn't a new idea in the slightest sense. Whatever! We were just trying to figure out how to work these damn things...

What I gather:

#1. Roasted: Who the fuck roasts noodles? That aside, if you do plan to roast these noodles you better first make sure you have something to Take it up into.. like a space ship.

#2. Fried: Now we're talking.. Dropping these babies in boiling oil is probably the preferred method of preparing these amazing noodles because it is good to Be taken with congee.
Tip: fried vermicelli is a delicious dish it added with shredded meat mushroom. Note from Dwayne: Just make sure the meat mushroom sauce doesn't get in your eyes!

#3. Cooked in soup: Apparently, you can add these noodles to flavoured soup. Keep in mind that you probably shouldn't use unflavored soup, as the directions do not allow for it. Most importantly, don't forget to add condiments being served.. these noodles will spice up any condiment you had planned on feeding your family with.

that french doesn't look too promising either.

Hawking's other book..

2005-08-01T13:07:00.000-06:00

I found this at a garage sale..

LOL!!

2005-07-31T21:47:00.000-06:00

We went to Edmonton this weekend and found this dude passed out on a lawn.
Self-Explanitory!

haha

2005-07-26T22:34:00.000-06:00

!!!!

New toy (finally)

2005-07-06T22:21:00.000-06:00

So I finally bought a new computer.
here is the run-down..

S939 Athlon 64 , 3200+ (Venice)
2 x 1 GB ram sticks (2 gig total)
Asus A8N-SLI deluxe motherboard
3 x Western Digital 200 GB 8MB cache SATA drives (600 GB TOTAL!!!! FUCK)
Geforce 6600GT video card (128MB, PCI-E)
your average NEC dvd burner (16x? fuck. who cares)
Enermax 535 watt power supply
2x 120mm stealth fans
2x 80mm fans that came with case (lights galore)
Some kind of jazzy case they gave me
19" Samsung SyncMaster 997DF.. CRT (message me to hear reasons and complaints about LCD's)

Here's some pics;
Post screen.. notice: 2097152K of RAM!

Here's the case that they gave me.. turns out it's better than anything I could have got that didn't have lights or windows, and this was half the price (whatever!)

Here's the inside.. man those 120mm fans are huge.
Check out those 3 drives.

It's nice to have a computer that waits for me, and not the other way around. Plus my keyboard is in good shape, etc.

/*begin nerd content*/
When they say deluxe, they mean deluxe. This motherboard has 2 16x PCI-E slots, a couple 1x PCI-E slots, something like 10 usb 2.0 ports, 2 firewire ports, 8 channel audio, Coaxial SPDIF out , optical SPDIF out, 2 gigabit lan ports, 8 SATA ports, 4 of which are from the nforce 4 chipset, the other 4 from a Silicon Image RAID controller (supports raid 0, 1, 1+0, and 5 I believe). I know, I know, I could have ran a raid cluster (was thinking about doing a raid 5 setup), but then I would need another hard drive; Maybe not need, but want :P.
/*end nerd content*/

Fuck, I am pure nerded out.. I am pumped.

Identity crisis

2005-06-26T10:50:00.000-06:00

P.S. I don't have photoshop here at work

New Reading Campaign..

2005-06-19T19:00:00.000-06:00

"Hey kid, read this book or I'll kill you"

Ah, Nature

2005-06-19T17:03:00.000-06:00

It's a sledgehammer..

2005-06-19T11:30:00.000-06:00

Check this ride we saw at a gas station. Words can't explain it..
and yes, the front rim is larger than the back, probaby by about 4 inches.

Hello Photoshop!

2005-06-10T06:06:00.000-06:00

Well, in order to celebrate my new found photoshop, here is a quick edit i did! It's not as good as I could have made it, but I don't feel like spending a few hours on this, especially when I gotta get up at 5:00 the next day!

Not to say that everyone here is an idiot, but it seems like everyone who is an idiot is here.

Need I say more?

2005-06-09T23:08:00.000-06:00

Plain weird

2005-06-09T22:22:00.000-06:00

You couldn't make a picture this weird even if you wanted to. It's supposedly a hotel at the Edmonton Mall. Anyways, I think it's funny how it's in the bush, like some kind of paparazzi picture of the most popular celebrity, complete with trees in the foreground, an unlevel shot, and not to mention on a weird angle.

weird.

Problem Solved

2005-06-09T14:32:00.000-06:00

Well, I seemed to have found the solution to my problem.
For those of you who don't know I had a problem here's the story:
I couldn't get my photoshop to work properly. It would stall upon startup, and not completely load. So anyways, I tried everything. First I did an install overtop. That seemed to work for a day, but then the same problem. So I did an uninstall in hopes of getting a fresh installation in. No dice. The Setup.exe wouldn't even run. It'd just sit there and not open any kind of screen or anything at all. The hourglass would pop up for about 15 seconds and then it'd disappear. Anyways, I attributed it to my computer being an enormous hunk of garbage not worth the money in scrap (it really isn't). I tried everything I could think. Towards the end, I thought maybe a program that was running in the background affecting the installer in a somehow screwy manner. The only program I didn't try killing was msn because I was currently talking with people and didn't want to leave. Anyways, I had left the installer running in the background, which i usually kill after a few minutes of no action, but this time was different: I was caught up in a conversation and forgot about it! Anyways, my msn crashed (it's been doing that a lot lately) and that instant the installation window popped up.

Fuck you MSN!

Anyways, I'll be back to posting pictures soon!

Shouldn't have left my window open!!

2005-06-05T17:04:00.000-06:00

2 hours ago, it was clear outside!
I had my fan going blowing cool air in from outside my window, then it turned into what the picture looks like and now my room smells like a forest fire.

At least I hope it's from a forest fire!!! :S

More pictures

2005-06-05T00:36:00.000-06:00

Here are a couple more pics, taken out on some viewpoint, on the reclaimed land out by Syncrude!

Middle of nowhere

2005-06-04T23:09:00.000-06:00

Dave, Craig and I went out taking pics. WE drove down through many bush-laden paths only to end up on waterfronts where we were sitting bait for mosquitos!

This is one of my favorites of the night!

Prem?

2005-05-16T22:24:00.001-06:00

I bought this can of prem when I was 16, maybe 17. That was about 6-7 years ago, and who knows how long it was sitting at 7-11. I am going to try to call the company (if they still exist) and ask when the lot code was made.

Whenever I need inspiration, I look towards the PREM!

Yet another new room

2005-05-16T22:24:00.000-06:00

This is what my new room looks like, minus the seams of course. I know I could have made it better, but who really cares? Give me some credit for half-assed adjustment of brightness!!

As you can see it is fit for a king; however, there are posters along the wall that you cannot see. Ask to see my bed and I'll give you a personal tour!

Good shit

2005-05-15T00:07:00.000-06:00

Well, I got my wisdom teeth pulled, and let me tell you.

First off, I got shown a video about the removal of the "third molars" or "wisdom teeth". Anyways, then i had to sign waivers for things that the surgeon or business would not be liable for, such as "Jaw breakage" or "damage to my existing teeth." I was kinda worried, but not at the same time. I asked the surgeon and he said he had never broken one jaw in his whole life.

Here is the best part;
First off, i started with some nitrous. The surgeon placed it over my nose and started a casual conversation.. you know, like "you go to school?" etc. Anyways, I breathed the NAWZZZ for a while, while he inserted my IV needle. I felt this cold sensation in my arm and asked what it was. it was apparantly just a saline solution at room temperature (which feels cold in a vein). Anyways, he's hit me up with the first bout of goods, which I think he said was pento-barbital. Apprantly 100 times more potent than demerol, so they use 1/100th of it. The benefit was that its effects do not last as long at that dosage. So anywyas, the conversation continued and i started feeling a buzz, like a "8 beer" buzz. I was pleased, but felt like passing out. Anyways, i just chilled for a bit and stumbled on some of my words. He then proceeded to hit me with some diazepam, which he said may hurt a bit. It felt like a dull pain in my veins. I could feel it working its way up my arm (the pain) and started to get really looped. That's when my buzz went completely off the beer-rating scale (probably like 20-30). I was blacked out.

I woke up after and I didn't even realize that i was out, and the doctor was just finishing up. He took out two roots and proceeded to stitch up the area. During the time, i was so looped off of all the drugs coursing in my veins, i started to smile when i saw the hook the used to stitch up the area. All-in-all, it was a good time. Afterwards, i got an ice pack, and a couple of prescriptions. One of which was a prescription for 14 hydromorphone HCL (awesome stuff)

Boy is having your teeth out fun!

When we went to fill my prescription, some guy was creating a scene with his young daughter, throwing out some f-bombs (about 3) and then sitting on a bench. I, being looped still, looked back in disgust at a 30 year old man acting like a 12 year old towards his 6 year old daughter. He piped up to me "what the fuck are you looking at, buddy." I sure as fuck wasn't his buddy, but i turned back and mockingly sneered at the son-of-a-bitch. I didn't even care, I was floating on clouds!

I wish I had two wisdom teeth on the top that i could get extracted on a later date; Good times.

Hold your horses..

2005-05-04T23:21:00.000-06:00

I know I haven't updated my blog in a bit. Between the packing, the studying, the exam writing, the moving out, the 8 hour drive to fort mcmurray, the working of the 10 hour days, the hour and a half bus ride every day, and the NOT having of the internet has all hampered my style. But don't fret, my style will be back to show you all what the f- is up!

So that's how they made it..

2005-04-24T23:06:00.000-06:00

I found this picture on a site (which i recently tried but does not work?)

I had a cool idea after I saw it. Here it is:

Trees..

2005-04-24T16:47:00.000-06:00

Sick of smelling like camp fire, even though i've washed my hair and body four times, I figured some good old-fashioned Tree-Hanging would get rid of it...
Or at least mask it!

Date: April 24, 5:00
Conditions: sunny
Trees: 33
Impression: "mmm.."

Mary Sighting?

2005-04-21T18:56:00.001-06:00

It's been brought to my attention that there has been a mary sighting, on a "section of the Kennedy Expressway underpass on Chicago's northwest side" [site link]

Here is a copy of the picture that is posted there. To me it doesn't really seem like Mary. I mean, if I look hard enough FOR it, I can see it.

To be brutally honest with you folks, when I first saw it a different image came to mind other than the Mother of Christ herself; This is an overlay of what I saw:

That's the girl from the ring!!
I'd think twice before hanging around this thing.
It is kinda weird and creepy, the more I think about it.

You got the right one baby,

2005-04-17T15:43:00.000-06:00

Jamie Foxx ain't got nothing on the (H) smiley

Hmm..

2005-04-17T05:51:00.000-06:00

I have recently been given a projection to what I will look like in the future,
according to http://212.100.224.91 that is.

Here it is:

hmm...

pope sean paul

2005-04-16T00:23:00.000-06:00

A quick photoshop of an idea craig mentioned!

Sean Paul, Pope of rome!

[the contrast/brightness/coloring may be out a bit.. my monitor sucks big time and I can't tell too well on it!]

Stacked

2005-04-12T20:43:00.000-06:00

I know, I know.. some people have big stories about some buddy that bought some CV joints with a stack of Canadian Tire Money, and that 50 dollars worth is not much.
Whatever. I think it is.

I always seem to find this stuff everywhere: back seat of my car, under my change tray, in my pants, etc. In fact, I found even more when I was cleaning off my desk to take these pics. I figured I should start collecting and make a stack, so I did. Here it is!

Too bad canadian tire doesn't sell vanillaroma trees.

24

2005-04-12T17:16:00.000-06:00

Well, the 18 trees I just bought are now all in the car. 15 was not satisfactory anymore, so i added the remaning nine! 9 + 15 =24. WOO!

reforestation update

2005-04-12T17:03:00.000-06:00

Date: April 12, 5:05
Conditions: overcast
Trees: 15
Impression: nostalgia
Vanilla level (1-10): 5

Correction..

2005-04-09T22:07:00.000-06:00

Upon further realization, i have to re-evaluate the vanilla situation in my car. It appears that the heat caused the vanilla saturation to spike.

Date: April 9, 2:00
Conditions: warm
Trees: 15
Impression: overwhemling
Vanilla level (1-10): 7

how sweet it is

2005-04-09T20:22:00.000-06:00

I've been waiting almost a year for this day!!! Today i just got an upgrade!!

how sweet it is!

Sweet Aroma

2005-04-09T11:47:00.000-06:00

Trees: 15
Impression: satisfactory
Vanilla level (1-10): 4

I can smell it outside my car now -- with the windows up and doors closed!!

Last summer?

2005-04-08T20:29:00.000-06:00

Little did my friends know about what I REALLY did last summer..

Bliss

2005-04-08T18:05:00.000-06:00

Today I got into my car and noticed, despite the very warm in-car temperatures, that 3 vanillaroma trees was far from adequate. The scent did not permeate my clothes within 5 minutes of being in the car. I have decided to add another three more trees to the bunch.

mmmMM!!!

[tree count: 6]

Now 30% better!

2005-04-08T17:56:00.000-06:00

You don't realize how useful it is to have a picture of your hands, already cut out, on your computer.
Here I am, enjoying this new found luxury!

Full circle

2005-04-07T17:07:00.000-06:00

I used to have a million vanillaromas in my old car, hanging from the mirror.

I haven't put a tree in my car for a while. Today, I put 3.

I could be on to something...

What's that noise?

2005-04-06T23:25:00.000-06:00

I heard noises when I was driving so I took a look. Turns out my pipes were hanging a bit too low. I took the pipes to see my good friend, Rip M. Off; He fixed them up pretty good.. here is the pic:

Reboot this!

2005-04-06T22:55:00.000-06:00

I hate my computer. This is how I give it a "friendly hello."

2 meg

2005-04-03T04:14:00.000-06:00

That is right.

Beginning to make a lot of sense..

2005-04-02T16:50:00.000-06:00

turns out there is a reason why my car is so damn loud.

oh, i see now!

Reassessed..

2005-04-02T16:24:00.000-06:00

Due to a reassesment, turns out i'm not getting $4400 after all..

NERD test

2005-03-31T22:08:00.000-06:00

This is a nerd test that I, being an ukrainian engineer, just figured out. I was integrating a volume and then multiplying by density and gravity to find weight. Anyways, if you figure this out or find this funny, you are a NERD!! (I guess being the creator makes me one!). If you don't know what it is, ask me and I'll explain! (it is not that funny though, so don't get your hopes up.)

2005-03-29T00:26:00.000-06:00

Sure thing!

2005-03-28T15:46:00.000-06:00

saskatoon..